The first time I try the cigarette is the first year of middle school. It was a boarding school and I had the smoke on the upper bunk-yes, I remember it so clearly coz I’ve told the story to many people.
I had a deep drew on the cigarette and I fainted. The upper bunk was not so capable of holding my body weight, so, with a “boom” sound, I fell to the lower bunk.
I came to myself several minutes later and this image of me fainting away on a drew of a cigarette left a deep print in my memory.
I did not become a regular smoker because I don’t like the smell: it smells like sh*t.
However, every time I broke up with my girlfriend, somehow I would buy several packs and smoke now and then. It sure feels good. It makes you a bit dizzy after one or two cigarettes which may otherwise takes several cans of bear. In some way, it is an easier way to be toxicated, or carried away.
It only takes 2 cigarettes to make your finger smell like sh*t. I found out this time. Again, I hate the smell. I can barely stand the smell of a smoking room. I always wonder how can anyone be willing to kiss a smoker. It’s beyond me.
I always forget how it feels to have a long drew of smoke into your lungs. This time I pay great attention to it. I think smoking kind of feels like giving a blowjob to yourself. The feel of the smoke rolling through your throat feels just like the first time you go into your beloved one. So, smoking is a way of masterbation.